previously published in madswirl.com
Perhaps their
separation had begun long before they met. What one lacks is what he seeks in
others, they say. They both lacked the same thing – the ability to look out of
themselves. They were lost; so lost within their own self they never quite saw
each other clearly; never realized they weren’t meant to be together.
Or, perhaps, they began to part when he
first saw her standing in front of a painting he couldn’t understand and
smiling to herself. Those thin lips painted in red lipstick parted slowly and
she moved her tongue over them to keep them wet. She didn’t have the finest set
of teeth but that didn’t matter. What was most beautiful was her nose—long and
round. He immediately felt he was in love but didn’t know that he wasn’t. But
it was meant to happen. It was a very beautiful co-incidence. He never actually
wanted to come to the exhibition; he had just accompanied a friend there. So,
he asked or rather begged his friend who claimed to know her personally to make
them acquainted. He was rewarded soon when, in a party of a mutual friend, they
were finally introduced to each other.
It was her turn now to fall in love. What
a rightly put phrase falling in love is because when one falls he is bound to
get hurt. And it was all set for her. She admired art from paintings to
literature and even music, and he was a poet. Well, an aspiring poet actually,
but he knew enough beautiful sentences to win a woman’s vulnerable heart. They
struck up liking to each other, fixed dates and met regularly until they were
completely blinded by the illusion of being in love.
So it began—their separation.
Or, may be, it was the time when they had
their first kiss. The kiss changed something inside them. When they felt each
other’s tongue probing into their mouths exchanging the saliva, they let their
boundaries dissolve and handed themselves over to the other. But, perhaps, it
was too early to jump to conclusions for when the kiss ended their world was
restored to normal. The storm was followed by calm and long silence and
awkwardness then apology and then an assurance that what happened was mutual
and then another more passionate and tender kiss. So, it wasn’t the kiss then.
But they should have stopped there because what was to follow would result in rather
unpleasant and undesired results for them.
They transcended into each other’s life
completely when on a hot summer afternoon they lay naked together—he on top of
her. All covered in sweat, they struggled to drive pleasure from each other’s
body. The love was in partial replaced by lust and the control over one’s self
was completely relinquished. After few more such encounters, the sacredness of
the act had demeaned. They no longer were the only thing in each other’s life.
Other things mattered and they mattered even more now.
They began to retreat into their own life.
She had to attend exhibitions, concerts and literary festivals. He was busy
searching words and avoiding people. Less time for each other meant more
quarrels and more they quarreled more they understood each other. The illusion
began to dwindle and they could see in each other the image of their own. They
were one and the same; they both lacked the same thing and they both desired
same thing from the other. It wasn’t that they didn’t achieve anything but then
what they got they could have got from anyone else too—a few good
conversations, some moments of laughter and few sessions of love-making. At the
end, it proved to be a costly bargain after all – spending precious moments of
their life over something that would eventually leave a bruise on their hearts.
The separation had created a vaccum in their lives that could be filled only by
someone absolutely meant for them. However, they learnt to recognize their
dreams and desires and their need which would help them choose the right person
next time before they separated.
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